War Horse

"This movie is so great! You have to see it! It's breath taking and you'll love it!"
... Which movie did this person see? I heard from people that this movie was going to be great and fantastastic and new and... I WAS BORED!

This is going to be a negative review of the "great" movie War Horse, made by Steven Spielberg so if you don't want to know why I think this and are just angry with me and if you're just going to insult my way of watching a movie... Go away!
However, if you are curious of why I think it was boring, or if you haven't seen the movie and want another oppinion than "it was fantastic!" please continue the reading and I'm not going to insult anyone who likes it, so please don't insult me for disliking it! It's just an oppinion!

So what I'm gonna do now is explain the story like I always do. It's easier to decide if you who haven't seen it will like it or not so, have your own oppinion first!

OK! The story... It's pretty much Black Beauty in a war zone. When I first heard about "War Horse" and saw the poster for it... I didn't read the plot for it then. What was going through my mind was like a war but from the horse's point of view! Now, I thought that would be boring at first... But then my mind started to continue this theory of plot and I saw like dark places with goneshots and explosions and you saw the horse's struggle to keep him alive and his rider. But then the rider dies and a emotionfilled scene is playing (slow motion of course) and then the horse is instead trying to get away from the war instead of listening to his rider who are just trying to get him to go forward and I saw so much emotions and if it was done right you would just feel the struggle and panic the horse felt and just try to survive a war.. I'm explaining it pretty bad right now because I'm just trying to summarize it. But I was just feeling emotional by thinking it..... What do I get? ... A MESS! I'm sorry but this was just a mess! So the movie starts of with the horse getting born and it starts off like your typical horse movie. A boy comes attatched to it and they grow strong together and stuff like that (remind you of something?). But then they have to sell the horse because they need the money. So the army comes along and are looking for horses to have in the battle (or something like that) Anyway! They sell the horse to the army and of course the horse is the best. Then we get one short battle and they loose this battle and the horse is taken into german custody. And... It's just a army movie after that! The horse is forgotten in half the movie... Ok, more than half of the movie and we just concentrate on the war and battles and meow! So we see the horse get tossed around owners and we follow some army guys have battles and just boring stuff. And in the middle of the movie the horse is like panicing and becomes Robot Unicorn! ... Not really, but it felt like it! The horse got tangled in some barbed wire and kept running, it got tangled in more barbed wire and it keeps running, it got tangled in more barbed wire AND some obsticles and STILL keeps running! But then the obsticals get stuck on some fence and then finally the horse falls and is lying there! So yeah, there is a calm scene where an english man and a german man is helping the horse free from the barbed wire and they're just talking like they were neighboors or something. And then the horse finally meets the boy who raised him in the beginning and The End! ..... Not really, there were some difficulties in the end but I just sighed and turned it off... I didn't even see the end! It was that boring!

So let me tell you why I didn't like it XD I haven't done that yet.... Even if it may show a little from that summary but I'm gonna tell you why now! And... It just felt like this movie was trying hard to appeal to everyone! Why it was a mess was because it went like a ping pong boll between two genres! "Don't like horses? We got world war battle for you! Don't like war movies? We got horses you can look at! Oh, you who don't like horses, don't worry! We won't hold the shot at them for long! You who want to look at the horses, you see them a little more than usual! We are satisfying everyone! XD" .... FAIL!!! Keep it to one genre!!! And if you are going with a Black Beauty story do it like them and concentrate on the EMOTION of the horse!!!! Not the humans! You can't have both! "War horse" is an appropriate   title since it was a war with a horse! I wanted to see horse in a war ><! Oh well! But I could've been impressed if I wasn't so irritated with how it was done!

The first half was really boring and it was the time when the boy and the horse was bonding! And it was boring! The guy who played Albert.. I didn't like his acting in this o.o I have no idea why but I didn't like it. And also Emeli (or how it's spelled -.-) I didn't like her acting either. It was too robotic and I liked more her character than the acting.... If that makes sense. Even though I don't like talking about how people act, I just had to say something here because here I really noticed how bad it was! But I'm not gonna say more about that XD

The editing in this movie was HORRIBLE!!! It distracted me from the story and I just saw how bad it was! And.,... No! I get so frustrated when I remember how it was edited! It was like in one shot it was cloudy, the next it was sunny (They cut to another angle in the same scene)! And in one shot you see all the horses running around from the gun shots... One shot later and everyone is dead! ..... How fast are the soldiers to kill horses o.O? Oh well! So you can gather that the editing was horrible! Also there was a LOT of pointless angles and scenes and shots! It was like the cameraman was new to the work and was trying to figure out the camera but someone liked the test shots for the camera so they worked it in! -.- There were A LOT of these "test shots" in the movie! And they drove me nuts!

Also... I don't think anyone introduced blood to this movie.... It's a war movie... without blood? .... Ok. At the first half the boy and the horse is learning how to plow to try to save their farm and they plow for days without rest...... Either the horse or the boy gets scars out of it! "You're as badly hurt as he is" ... Apparently not at all since no scar or blood are shown on any of you! And the scene where the horse is trapped in barbed wire.... No scars... Oh we do see them near the end, but it's when it is a close up! The only time I saw blood was when another horse was bleeding on it's knees and the ending and there was another time, but I can't remember it right now... Three times in a two and a half hour long movie!! What the Hell?!

So no, I did NOT like this movie (if you can't tell by now) and all I'm saying.... If you want to see a fantastic horse movie, see Black Beauty or Horse Whisperer! Those are better than this! And if you want to see a war movie.... I've heard Private Ryan is good... Go see that! Or some other movie I'm sure is better than this!

If you don't know how to combine a horse with war in a original way and don't make it look like a mess DON'T MAKE IT!

I'm not recomending this because it really drove me nuts with all the mistakes it made. And that's what I have to say!
Bye for now!

Rio

No surprise there.. Ok, there was a little surprise but that's probably because I didn't expect this story when I saw the poster. This was another that I avoided since I thought it was going to be bad and... I was half right! It wasn't bad it wasn't good it just.. have been made amillion times.

It is the same love story between animals that I've seen at least four times... that I can remember! There is this bird that gets captured and gets lost from his natural enviorment where he meets a human that takes care of him. One day a strange man comes to her door and wants her bird to mate since he is the last male of their spieces. So it's a typical love story, no surprices, not nothing. The villian just wants money and bla bla bla... Pretty boring..

But the colors were nice! They really captured the colors exactly right in this movie and it was always pleasant to look at. The characters were nothing interesting only cliché and also the dialoge were cliché. It was that line where something bad happens to the love interest and the guy says "It's all my fault"... They just had it here because it was a cliché. They don't say anything that no, it's not your fault. They just cut to the chase right after... They didn't need that line. So yeah...

I guess it's not bad because... Well, the colors do help with bringing the movie up a bit, and well.. The story is good it's just that it has been done a few times. So it wasn't really bad just "been done". You can check this movie out if you want, the humor can be a pain sometimes but some jokes can be entertaining. And that's pretty much it.

The Number 23

I intend to write about movies that I've only seen once. So what I'm writing here is my first opinion about a movie, my first impression. It can be a lot more interesting if you do that and things like that when the emotion is fresh inside you.
.. I'm not going to that this time. This time I'm gonna write about The number 23 which I saw for the second time today. The first time I saw about... one and a half year ago. All I remember is that I really liked it... and some scenes from it. I have no idea why I don't remember a movie that is really good. I still think it's really good! Maybe it is because I'm not really interested in Thrillers or Scary Movies... They're not really my thing. Anyway! I'm not gonna talk about why I don't remember it! I'm gonna talk about why it's good! First, you need to know the story. And I'm not gonna go spoilers in this post!

The story is about a man, played by Jim Carrey. (Jim Carrey is the reason I was introduced to this movie because I love him!) The man's wife is picking up a book from a bookstore because sadly the man was late to their meeting. The book is about another man's story who becomes obsessed about the number 23. As the Jim Carrey character (not gonna say the name here) continues to read he realizes that the man in the book has many things in common as himself. As the story continues you follow the Jim Carrey character as he becomes obsessed with the number 23. He realizes that everything leads to the number 23 and he starts to question if it's a coincident or if it has some hidden meaning to it. Although the people around him says that if you search for a number it will appear everywhere and the number isn't magical by itself but only if people give it some hidden meaning. Although the Jim Carrey character can't let go of his suspisions and has to figure out the meaning of 23.

I love that story.  It only has ONE problem, but it's a small one and it tries to create more suspision so... It can be overlooked. The acting.. Love it. Everyone in this movie tries their best and everyone wants to create a good thriller about an obsession. I love Jim Carrey so I can't really talk about his acting here, but it's NOT goofy as he usualy do (he can do differant rolls -.- Just watch The Majestic! I was really bored by it) but the other one did a good job too. I didn't think one time that the acting was bad. I was just really sucked in by the story so.. ... It's a good story! I like it.

The characters are interesting. There are few of them because the movie knows to hold the character list down to just the family and the people they accounter, which is not many. And it's mostly good put together. There are just a few things that are pretty small that can suck you out for a moment, but it's not huge so you can overlook it to my oppinion. But other than that the characters are all interesting.

Ehum... Don't know what to say more... I just want everyone to see this because.. I have no idea if people know about it or not. I didn't know about it until a friend showed it to me and said "You who like Jim Carrey..." so I just want to recomend it and tell everyone who read this that this movie exist and it's great!! So go see it!

(Also I'm gonna try to post two movie reviews every month... I don't know if I can hold it, but I'm gonna try! And I'm not setting like.. on satturdays, no! two reviews every month if I have the time, gonna at least try! So... One more review this month coming up! Bye!)

Oh damn o.o That's scary! I had no idea... that THIS was my 23rd post.... It was TOTAL coincident, I'm not joking! ... That's scary! It was posted 00:26 however so that's a relief... But still! OMG! ... Scary..

Puss In Boots

Well.. ... It was better than I thought. That is to say that this movie was good.

I never liked the Puss in Boots character in the Shrek movies THAT much that I thought he would be given his own movie... I thought Donkie was more suited for that XD But so I thought little of this movie.. Also doing a movie to please your fans and to make money rarely do come out fine. You should do a movie because YOU want to. Not because other want you to do it.

What's the story? Well... I don't really know.. It was kind of a complicated story. That's probably why I liked it. I like those complicated stories that takes you to a twist you didn't think of. This movie takes a simple story and makes it complicated... Sort of XD

I should however point out that Shrek has NOTHING to do with this movie. When the movie began I was thinking: Ok.. Is this before or after he meets Shrek? But as the movie continued I thought: Or is this a completely own story without Shrek? This movie stands on its own! It has just borrowed the fairytales coming together. That's all.

That's what I'm gonna say about the story so, check it out to know the story XD

The characters were good. They held their character through the entire movie! I was really glad to see that! And they were really enjoyable.. Except for the two characters.... I have no idea what their names are, but the two with all the swines! Those characters were SO annoying! Mostly because what they do in the end! It's gonna be a little spoiler here so you who doesn't want to read it you can just go to the next section below. The characters did something in the end that was like... Come on! Give up already! It was just clear to me that they only served as obsticles in the end... Which made it seemed like they were just in the movie to be obsicles! It's when they're going to save their hometown by giving back the little goose to its rightful place. And these characters says: We want more than gold! We want the goose that lays the goldes eggs! .... Yeah.. I can get that but... Why did you just come up with it there? You had more oportunities to get the goose! You had BETTER oportunties!! So why did you decide that you wanted more in the middle of the climax ?! Those were the only characters that bothered me. The rest was good and enjoyable to watch.

The movie had two good things in it. The story and the characters. However... It had THREE things against it! ... Wait. LOGIC! Please! The important thing in the movie is the story and the characters. If you get both of these right then you have a good movie despite the flaws! With that said.. Lets look at the problems.

The beginning

I think the beginning irritated me because I was wondering what kind of story it was. If it was before the Shrek movies or after or if it was a story of its own. The one change I want to do here is... Puss in Boots is narrating in the beginning about his character..... Couldn't you say in the beginning "Also this is a story where I have or will not meet Shrek or the Donkie".. It's ONE line! I haven't seen the trailer for this movie.. I have only seen the posters so, maybe I was missing something from the trailer. If so... You shouldn't take for granted that everybody sees the trailer! And why I'm talking about this now is because a small detail that is left out can distract you from a whole movie! I let that question be rather early from the movie, but still! I'm an exception! Tell your audience if it's a sequal or midqual or prequal or don't have anything in common with the other movies the character was in! Also, it's a child's movie so that line wouldn't destroy the movie because it can be treated with humor! So.. NO EXCUSES!

BTW, that leads us to the other problem. The humor.

The first half of the movie... The humor in it was just a pain! Everytime they tried to tell a joke I rolled my eyes. It was so childish humor and bad humor! ... It got a little better the further the movie went (some of the jokes are hillarious!) but yeah... The majority of the jokes were just childish and unfunny and I just rolled my eyes at them. ... But they didn't have many hairboll jokes! They had one! But that was cleverly used so that was OK!

The last problem was the ending. ... Do I need to say that there's going to be Spoilers here? I do o.O? Ehum... Ok.. It's going to be spoilers here! So you who doesn't want to read about the ending can.. go.. Stupid..

Anyway! The ending! Yes.. I don't mean the climax or anything this is really about the last minute of the movie. After the climax and the sad trip of everyone who died in the battle.. The movie rushes to the end credits! .. What?! Did you overstep the time limit by 1 minute or something? And you had to rush it? ... You're not putting up your movie on YouTube! You can overstep the timelimit by a minute, I promise you. But yeah! After the battle everything is OK! The town has forgiven Puss for his mistakes in the past and he's treated like a hero! ... During the climax people said that he had to go back to the prison to pay off his dept! His "mother" even told him to not fight the guards so he could pay of his dept (to a crime he didn't even commit but anyway!). Also! He had escaped prison to battle and save the town.. HOWEVER! He DID commit a crime! He escaped prison.. But that's fine! He saved the town so he doesn't need to listen to the guards who wants to put him back.. It was only the one crime he commited. A hero doesn't go to prison...... S.T.U.P.I.D! So yeah... They did want a happy ending but in the same time they didn't.... That's what happens when you do a movie to please your fans! You stop thinking!

Although... It was a pretty good movie and I think I will see it again.. Probably. .. Maybe.

Bee Movie

AAAAAAHH!!!!

WHAT THE HELL?! This movie nearly got me to cry because it was so horrible!!! OMG!!! It got me so angry and so sad and... MEOW! To think that we actually still do movies like this!! WTF?! Haven't the movie history taught you what to make and DON'T make?! ... Apparently not!

This movie... ! ARGH!! I just want to forget about it because it really hurt me and I have no idea why it was made! They treated the whole idea like a big joke! The whole movie was like a joke gone wrong! And it was horrible to sit through! But I watched the whole movie anyway! ... I have no idea why! ... Maybe because I wanted to see how horribly it was going to end!

Well.. I think I've talked too much how horrible it is... What's the story? .. That's gonna take a long time to tell you so I'm just gonna start.

It is about a Bee... What a shock! But this bee founds out that his life is just gonna be around one job when he finish school. He's gonna do one job his whole life. The only job he can think of is a pilot. Those bees that flies around and search for flowers and takes the honey and stuff like that. So he gets tricked into flying with the pilots, but when he actually flies out, the pilots are good guys that actually takes care of him! They just acted like bullies first just to get the plot going. Oh well! On his flight he comes across a human and they starts talking and liking each other and stuff like that. But when he notices that humans are taking the honey they make he goes to the bottom of the case and founds out that humans are crual to the bees because of theur honey. So the main bee goes into a trial to save all the bees and the honey and wins the case! So all the bees gets the honey back and everything is OK! ... Except that the bees don't have anything to do anymore because aparently they have all the honey they want! So all the flowers and trees and plants are dying! So the bee must go to a... I have no idea what that was.. something that praise flowers, my brain is trying hard to make me forget about this movie! They get the last flowers in the world and has to fly back to their town to save ALL flowers in the whole WORLD......... But there's a storm in the way so all the bees in the town CARRIES THE PLANE TO THE AIRPORT, THROUGH THE STORM AND THEY ALL MAKE IT! ..... So then the bees gets on with the polination and everything is as colorful as it was before.. The end...

WTF?! What kind of story is that? Did it really have to be all that complicated and long? It's a kids movie! It doesn't have to be that complicated because they won't take it all in anyway. Oh! And you're treating the story like a big joke so why?!

Ok, what doesn't work in this movie? ... Everything?! The big joke is "put a bee in the human world". And they joke about that through the entire movie! It made me really sick! Also, the pacing in the movie was bad! TOO FAST! Your movie is one and a half hour long! You can afford to slow it down! But no! We had to make a whole big and complicated plot so we didn't have time for character development! We just give you jokes about bees!

Also, the human he become friends with... HATE HER!! The actor who did the voice for her... Put a little effort will ya?! But no! Her voice drived me nuts and she... I'm not gonna say anything more about that character because I can't find the words because I'm so angry!

So that's the problem, the plot, the characters, the comedy.... What was good about it? ... The animation can look nice.... But it isn't worth it!! NO!! There are FAR better movies that can both look good and the plot isn't all over the place! Stop making fast movies! I found ONE silent moment and it lastet a few seconds! The rest was "talk, talk, talk, talk" LOUD MUSIC! The end.... GRR!

I didn't think this movie was going to be nice, but I missed the Dreamworks animation and I've watched everything else! So what could I do? Meow! Now I'm gonna forget everything about this and I'm advising you NOT to see it!

Bad Teacher

This movie was good. It was OK. I think I could watch it again, but I don't think it would be in the closest hours anyway.

The movie is about a bad teacher... surprised? But it starts of with her quitting her job... Don't know why they had her to quit first since the scene after that she goes back to the school anyway... That was kind of pointless. They could have just cut to when the boyfriend breaks up with her. Oh well! She comes home after quiting her job as a teacher and her boyfriend says he wants to break up with her because it feels like she's only in it for the money... and yes she is! The rest of the movie is like her getting someone with money to like her because she wants a man to provide for her. So she thinks that getting bigger boobs is going to help her get a man... Ok... Anyway! So she's trying so hard to get the money for a boobjob to get a man... And that's what the movie is about! Oh! And she's competing with a coworker about this man and that bit is actually kind of funny.

The characters were great, every character was well developed, except for the kids. The maincharacter was great, it's Cameron Diaz and I always love her in every movie she's in, that's the reason I wanted to see it. And I think she takes a lot of charm to this movie. Without her, I don't think it would've been as strong. But what do I know? It's good that we didn't experience Bad Teacher without her. The coworkers were great! The actors there were nice as well, they seemed to do a good job and I enjoyed watching them. Everytime you had an interesting character to look at and that was good! Let the characters speak because you're there to watch them! The kids however... It was the stereotypes all over to me so... yeah, that was a little boring. We had one scene where the teacher asked one student if she wanted to do well in school because she wanted it or because her parents wanted it. That's a good question! But... They don't do anything with it. They just let the teacher ask it and then it's done! Not gonna bring it up again! ... yay... So that was a little disappointing.

I liked the beginning of the movie that showed past teacher movies... or something like that. It was smart to begin it like that. The humor was great. It felt forced sometimes but it wasn't THAT forced that some movies can get. So that was great to see that a movie about a bad teacher can have some flow in their jokes. I don't see it that often. So that was uplifting.

And I don't really have much to say about it. The stuff that didn't work for me were the kids but other than that.... It was fine. Nothing spectacular, but nothing horrible either. It's just good.

Kung fu Panda 2

... I didn't like it. ... If you want to know why, please continue the reading. If you want to say that I'm wrong and I don't know what a good movie is... FUCK YOU!

Ok! I'm gonna say what I thought about the first one before I talk about the second one. Kung fu Panda! I avoided that movie until 2010 when a friend showed it to me. And it turned out better than I imagined! I was sucked in by the style and tone of the movie and I never thought I would! I wanted to see it again directly after that! The fighting was great, the characters were awsome!! and it looked really great!

Why I avoided it... I had a reason! Jack Black was in it ^^ ........ That's why I avoided it. I like Jack Black, I don't have anything against him, really! ... But his humor... I really don't like his humor and his humor shows in his movies, some of them anyway! So I was glad that Kung fu Panda didn't have his humor and that the comedy that Jack Blacks movies often have. .... Kung fu Panda 2 on the other hand.... *sigh* -.-

What's the story? I actually like the story. For a sequal to a Sports Movie this doesn't follow the usual pattern they use to have. I thought this sequal was gonna show Po that has gone back to being the "useless" panda and he was gonna be taught the same thing again. But no! They actual continue the story. So that was refreshing! The team is going to beat down a peacock that has taken out some kung fu masters and is going to take over china..... Although they say that he is going to stop kung fu.... Why did they have that plot in? Wasn't the other thing enough for them to stop him? Oh well! Before Po goes however Shifu tells him that the next step of his training is learning inner peace... Also before he goes he founds out that he was adopted (something that was missing from the first movie so you could guess that it was going to be in here.) So you could guess that finding inner peace won't be that easy when you're trying to find out why his parents left him and.... so forth XD That's pretty much the story and it sounds great doesn't it?

CLICHÉ!!! -.- Sorry! But even I have seen SO many movies that has tried to get out the message that this movie is trying to petray..... There's no surpsises what so ever in this story... Only disappointments! So that sucked! But, I did like the story anyway, but hey... SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES AND MORE! So that was no fun and at the end when they explained everything I was ready to turn it off. "I can guess what's going to happen" ... Although I couldn't! But I'll get into that later. So yeah... That was a HUGE thing that didn't work to the movies advantage. .. So why did I like it? ...... ...........

The characters!

They didn't change any of them! Yay! But they got more lines to the mantis! .... Why? No idea! They don't give any focus on him... He just gets more lines. That's fine! I was happy to hear more lines from that character, but why didn't they get more lines to the other characters then? Oh well! I'm glad that they didn't change the characters because that is a problem with sequals.. They change the characters.

So every character in the team and Po's "father" is great! Like they were in the first movie! The new characters...... Grrr! The villian -.- I hate those villians that talk too much, that seem cocky but hides behind big weapon and they just... talk! Grr!! It's nothing intimitating with a character that talks!! Couldn't someone cut out his vocal cords so he couldn't speak? Make him a silent villian! That would've been awsome!! But yeah... The peacock turns out as silly as the movies making Voldemort out to be -.- He's just silly and not intimidating and why make a villian that's not intimidating? Also I thought that they were going to explain his backstory more! You saw part of his struggle, you saw that he was suffering that his parents banished him and was afraid of him when he did something he thought they would be proud of. But nope! We're concentrating more on Po's backstory! We get a hint about something that Tigress was going through... Everytime Po meantions his family she gets this soft face that she has been going through something when she was little.... That's everything we get! Just a look and nothing more! ... That irritates! We get hints on two suffering backstories but it's the main chatacter's story that they're talking about. You could mention the other's too without leaving out the main character!! ... Egocentric Panda >

This movie brought out something that I was afraid that I was going to see in the first one. Idiotic and childish comedy! Jack Black has a childish humor that I don't think is funny! So I'm gonna say that the comedy didn't work for me at all. There were a few stuff that got me laughing, but... Don't put effort to get the audience to laugh really hard, put your effort to the story like you did with the first one! Get the people drawn into the story instead of concentrate on the comedy! Grr! The first fight scene really tourtered me.. I was thinking.. "DAMN! This movie is doing what I feared!" It's really goofy and cartoonish and.... The first movie didn't have fight scenes like that! The first movie praised Kung fu! ARGH!! They forgot about that >

SPOILER!

"I know I can't defeat you with my Kung fu! But this will!" ... He hides behing a cannon.... ... *sigh* A movie that is called Kung fu Panda has a villian with a cannon... WTF?!!! So, no.. They could've made so much with this image but they don't. But when they actually get to the final battle between Po and the peacock, all cannons are destroyed, he's getting our his knives and it looks like I finally is going to get my Kung fu battle I've waited on the whole movie, I was expecting something like in Azumi(first one) and it was going to look awsome!! .... The bird shows off with his knives too much and after three seconds he's squashed by one of his cannons.... *deep angry sigh* They tried to do so much with him but I guess it was hard animating all those feathers -.- GRR!!! How dare the movie show possiblities and not go all the way?! Meow!

So no, this movie didn't work for me. The first one was great, but the second wasn't nice -.- Let's see how they're gonna screw up the third one XD! Bye for now!

(And he was a white peacock.... Sure it looks nice, but... White peacocks is female o.o Isn't it? So that was destracting too >< It looked nice and I like when the villian isn't just dark and with red eyes like most villian is/was.. but... It's a white peacock that's male.... No! Wrong! Doesn't work! Looks good, but doesn't work! Like a lot things in this movie!)